I used to have this problem too. Not saying this is what will help you, and it is a little hard to explain, but the PGA instructor I go to had me focus on pointing the club at a point behind me. So at address, it might be a tree or the top of the club house slightly behind and above might right shoulder. Feel & real can be quite different, so while I feel like the Y of my arms and shaft is the same at the top as it was at address, the weight of the club causes the hinge rather than me forcing it. I didn't believe it until I saw the video. All that said, find someone that can truly help you. Much better to do it now when you are new than going later and trying to break ingrained bad habits.

A good, and inexpensive aid for wrist set is Swingyde. It does a little more than just wrist set; I use it set up to my trail arm to monitor swing width and over setting the wrists, and on the lead arm to help with arm structure from transition through to the beginning of release. Amazing little tool for about $15.

Reading the first two replies to this thread, I can't disagree with any of those ideas However, a lot of wrist set problems can be avoided by making certain the hands are low enough at address. If memory serves correctly, there should be about a 114° angle in the left wrist at address. I see a lot of people whose left wrist is almost straight at set up which causes people to not set their wrist or overdo it. In any case, I hope this helps you.

If any of this is hard to visualize, consider seeking a professional instructor. I’ve had too many ah-ha moments with a professional after trying to use an amateur. Worst advice I ever got was teaching myself.